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No One is Born Gay

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No One is Born Gay

I used to struggle daily with unwanted same sex attraction – unwanted homosexuality. From my earliest recollections I felt drawn to other males. Many circumstances came my way that only seemed to reinforce those feelings. When I was five years old an adult male confronted me in a sexual manner. As a child I was very emotionally sensitive, artistic, and musical…and the other boys at school in my formative years seemed to relish in reminding me how much of a fag I was. In my college days, a friend and mentor – married with children, Christian, and community leader – made a sexual advance…and I was convinced this was my lot in life. The only problem with that is that I became more miserable than ever. When I got to the end of my rope, God met me there with a new identity and the power to change my way of thinking. To my great dismay (but not to my surprise), the world has begun to think in an upside-down manner, calling what is righteous ridiculous and what is perverse normal and acceptable.

Once I began to understand God’s true plan for my identity, I began to think in a way I had never thought before. No longer was I one trapped in bondage (homosexuality). Now I was a NEW CREATION with the power to put off my old way of thinking and the power to receive and PUT ON a new way of thinking. This statement will probably produce a lot of controversy, but this is how I think of myself: I do not consider myself a recovering/former/ex gay. I consider myself a new creation. The slate of my mind is being erased and the old thoughts are being replaced with new thinking. What I have discovered in the process is that when I change my thoughts, my attitudes change. When I change my attitudes, my behaviors change. When I change my behaviors, my perspectives change. When my perspectives change, I see life from a vantage point that homosexuality NEVER afforded me. The bottom line for my recovery? God loved me right where I was…but loved me enough to not leave me there! Oh, and by the way, I have been married over 27 years and have been blessed with nine children…and have never once delved back into my old life…(my story in its entirety follows at the end of this chapter).

Until 1973, homosexuality was considered a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association (APA). In the early 1970s – after many years of protests by the pro-gay movement - homosexual activists campaigned against the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) classification of homosexuality as a mental disorder, protesting at APA offices and at annual meetings from 1970 to 1973. In 1973 the Board of Trustees of the APA voted to remove homosexuality as a disorder category from the DSM…and thus began our slide down the slippery slope toward a Romans 1 mentality. With that one decision by such a powerful group of therapists, man became the central focus in the matter of homosexuality and effectively began to remove hope for change from the realm of possibility for many men and women.

Let’s cut right to the chase. My belief (and experience) and my observance (having personally talked with HUNDREDS of men and women desiring to walk away from unwanted same sex attraction) is that the facts of truth do not bear witness to the current and popular conventional wisdom of this age concerning homosexuality. Let’s look at truth for a bit.

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Pro-Gay Theology Overview

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Pro-Gay Theology Overview

by Joe Dallas

Major denominations ordaining homosexuals, priests and clergy presiding over same-sex weddings, sanctuaries invaded by boisterous gay activists, debates over homosexuality ripping congregations apart, who would have guessed we’d ever reach such a point in church history?

The pro-gay theology is much like the broader gay rights philosophy, in that it seeks legitimization -- not just tolerance -- of homosexuality. Gay spokesmen have made no secret of this as being their goal in secular culture; activist Jeff Levi put it plainly to the National Press Club during the 1987 Gay Rights March on Washington: “We are no longer seeking just a right to privacy and a protection from wrong. We also have a right -- as heterosexual Americans already have -- to see government and society affirm our lives. Until our relationships are recognized in the law -- in tax laws and government programs to affirm our relationships -- then we will not have achieved equality in American society.” 1

But pro-gay theology takes it a step further by redefining homosexuality as being God-ordained and morally permissible: “I have learned to accept and even celebrate my sexual orientation as another of God's good gifts,” says gay author Mel White.2

When God is reputed to sanction what He has already clearly forbidden, then a religious travesty is being played out in bold fashion. Confronting it is necessary because the pro-gay theology asks us to confirm professing Christians in their sin, when we are Biblically commanded to do just the opposite.

The pro-gay theology is a strong delusion -- a seductive accommodation tailor-made to suit the Christian who struggles against homosexual temptations and is considering a compromise. Some who call themselves gay Christians may be truly deceived into accepting it; others might be in simple rebellion. What compels them to believe a lie, we cannot say. What we do know, however, is this theology is false. But even as we say so, the caution of a proper spirit is in order. When we answer the pro-gay theology, we do so as sinners approaching other sinners, nothing more. Rev. Andrew Aquino of the Columbus Baptist Association expressed it perfectly: “My message to the homosexual is: We love you. Come and struggle with us against sin. Don't give in to it.” 3

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Amputation Versus Restoration

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He entered again into a synagogue; and a man was there whose hand was withered. They were watching Him {to see} if He would heal him on the Sabbath, so that they might accuse Him. He *said to the man with the withered hand, "Get up and come forward!" And He *said to them, "Is it lawful to do good or to do harm on the Sabbath, to save a life or to kill?" But they kept silent. After looking around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, He *said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored.
Mark 3:1-5 NASB

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How To Minister In Your Home

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This article is by no means comprehensive on the subject of home ministry. In fact, I believe it only touches the tip of the iceberg of what God intends our believing homes to be. It is meant as a reminder to believers that we are not here for our own glory and pleasure…and that our homes are Ground Zero in life and ministry. May you find encouragement and be challenged to deeper levels of life in Christ through these words.

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DJ's Philosophy of Worship

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Having been raised in a non-charismatic church, I had no idea there was any difference between worship and praise. Having now had the opportunity to worship with my charismatic brothers and sisters, I realize they do not either!

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Doing Great Things For God With Limited Resources

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You already know the story of how I came to be a worship leader on staff at a church (In the article Worship Leading Made Easy as published at www.praisecharts.com). I did not know how to lead people. I did not know how to organize a music ministry with real ministry at its heart. I wanted to avoid the very appearance of performance but still wanted to make a place for all the gifted people God was bringing our way.

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The Spiritual Banking Crisis

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Today's world financial institutions find themselves in a major crisis...but that is not what this article is about! Lately, I have been asked on several occasions how to minister to someone who is bound up in some besetting sin or another (in my world, that usually means someone who struggles with same sex attraction, but the principles I am sharing apply to any ministry situation).

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Worship Leading Made Simple

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Yes, you read the title correctly! As complex and massive in nature as our God is, to think we could boil the leading of worship down to a simple methodology sounds ludicrous. But I honestly believe we make it much more difficult than it is – and usually the problems come when we confuse leading worship with being something akin to a performance. My theory is this: as a worship leader, my job is simply to remind people that ‘God is here…so deal with it’!

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How to Be Born Again

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Because of my story of freedom from same-sex attraction due to my relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ, I have many people tell me they long to know God intimately…long to be forgiven…long to be healed of past wounds…long to be free from whatever…long to be made brand new. For too long I believe the church has made knowing God more about jumping through religious hoops than about connecting people to a real and present God Who desires an intimate relationship with them. Knowing God intimately in a real-life relationship is as simple as a step of faith.

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How To Hear the Voice of God

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When talking about relationship, we must remember we are in relationship with a God who is alive and not distant. We have already discovered that He desires to have an intimate communion with us. He wants us to know Him even as He knows us. But how do you get to know someone intimately? How do you get to know God?

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The Wreckage of Resentment

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While meditating on what forgiveness means and what the benefits of forgiveness are to the human soul, I asked the Lord to give me an analogy that would help me understand the power of forgiveness in a very personal way. As I got into my car and headed for town to run some errands, this picture came.

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The Joy of Temptation

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The joy of temptation?!?! What do I mean by that? When we think of temptation, we think of it in terms of being a bad thing…and that is good! But through the years, I have learned to see temptation in a while new light. What I am about to share with you will bring much freedom and creativity into your life and will serve to keep you safe from harm and deliver you from the consequences of sin.

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How to Minister to Someone Who Struggles With Same Sex Attraction

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I grew up in the church…literally didn’t know that there were people who didn’t go to church. Being gifted musically with the ability to play the piano, I found a place to serve at a very early age. I also struggled with same-sex attraction – homosexuality.

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Resources for Those Who Struggle With Same Sex Attraction

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I literally receive hundreds of requests for personal help and counseling each year. This is truly a daunting task since my desire is to help each and every person who asks…but reality is that I am but one person who also has a life and a family. For that reason I can only provide truly personal help to a few, as I am able. But DO NOT LOSE HOPE if you are in need of help. What I can do is provide several resources where you can find some wonderful biblically based help.

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How to Minister to Your Neighbor

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One of the most frequently asked questions in my life is, ‘How do I minister to someone who struggles with homosexuality?’ Most people have never struggled with same sex attraction so that sounds like a valid question, doesn’t it? Reality is that we feel most comfortable talking with others about our own particular failures because that is what we know…but God’s reality is something quite different. He did not command us to minister to only those we felt comfortable with due to shared experiences. He simply commanded us to ‘go and make disciples’. So what does that mean?

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Fighting For Freedom - Why Many Give Up

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This article was written because I see far too many people begin their walk of freedom and then give up when the going gets tough. This problem is rampant across the various genres of bondage. People who struggle with sexual addiction, homosexuality, alcohol abuse, drug addiction, low self-esteem, etc. sometimes become overwhelmed with the onslaught of the enemy's lies and simply give up their quest for freedom and give in to their old ways of thinking rather than fight through to God's best for their lives.

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