I literally receive hundreds of requests for personal help and counseling each year. This is truly a daunting task since my desire is to help each and every person who asks…but reality is that I am but one person who also has a life and a family. For that reason I can only provide truly personal help to a few, as I am able. But DO NOT LOSE HOPE if you are in need of help. What I can do is provide several resources where you can find some wonderful biblically based help.
Before I share what those resources are, let me say this: if you are serious about walking out your freedom I can provide some personal writings of my own which may help stir the passions of your own heart towards an intimate and healing relationship with Jesus Christ.
Giant Killers is a book written by Dennis Jernigan and traces his own battles with the giants that war against his identity as a man.
Giant Killers offers practical suggestions for getting to the roots of our struggles and how to maintain our victory over our own giants.
Resources Concerning Homosexuality
Understanding Same-Sex Attractions
Homosexuality, Theology and the Church
How to Talk With Your Children About Homosexuality
Teach Your Children About Marriage
Is Change Possible?
Finding Help In Your Area
Help For Wives of Men Who Struggle
STEPS ALONG THE WAY
If there is no Referral Ministry near you, you may be tempted to lose heart or to give up. That is exactly what the enemy is trying to do – defeat you! There were several simple things I did which I would suggest might be appropriate for you in your situation as well. They are as follows:
- I would suggest you go before the Lord and ask Him to protect you from the lies of the enemy. Continue to seek Him in an intimate relationship of worship and praise. There was a period of several months where all I knew to do was to sing my heart to the Lord and keep a journal. In both instances, the purpose was to keep my heart honest and clean before the Lord. If nothing else, listen to praise music and sing to the Lord daily – moment by moment if necessary! God is with you. You can talk to Him. You can be honest with Him. But remember – in a healthy relationship there is an interchange. Don't do all the talking. Take time to listen for the Lord's voice and then apply what you hear to your life and situation. I would suggest you obtain copies of my recordings "Daddy's Song" and "Songs of Hope" to help you through the long hard nights
- I would ask the Lord to bring you together with someone else who can give you godly counsel. This person may be a friend, a pastor, or some other person with strength of character and a living relationship with the Lord Jesus. I would urge you to seek out someone who has never been involved in homosexuality. You need a healthy role model at this point. While no one is perfect, you need someone who knows that they need the Lord, too!
- I would suggest you see this barren time (aloneness) as a time of growth. God will not put more upon you than you can bear. The truth is that He will bear it with you and for you. See beyond the lies of the enemy to the truth of what God can and will produce through your life if you will simply not give up. I never dreamed I would one day be able to help others in an area of sin I was ashamed to admit I ever was a part of. Yet God takes our greatest weaknesses and failures and often uses them to bring glory to His Son while bringing a deep cleansing and healing to our won hearts and lives. That is God's way. When He does bring someone to help, don't put your hope in that person. They are simply God's vessel. He is the source. They are simply the messenger of that hope. Cling to Jesus no matter what.
- Focus on meeting the needs of others. Take your eyes off the constant attention the enemy tries to focus upon your life. Selfishness and self-pity leave us destitute and dry. Take what you receive from the Lord and then allow Him to pour what you have received out to others through you. You don't have to be the most talented person around. You simply need to be a servant. Pride kills. Humility leads to life. See yourself as he sees you. As a new creation, you are whole. You simply need to leave the old you buried and dead. You need to allow the Lord to tear away more of the old grave clothes of your past that the enemy wants you to keep wearing. Rip off the old and keep putting on the new clothes of righteousness that really do identify who you really are. Even if you fall, you are not a failure. Just get back up and repent – run to the Lord as if your life depends upon it. Just because a runner falls in the race, he does not have to go back to the starting line. He simply gets up and keeps running toward the goal. Keep running toward Jesus!
- Walk in gratitude. Give thanks to God for all he does. Express appreciation to others whom God uses to bless your life. I do not understand why God allowed me to have ever gotten so messed up. I simply know that He is God and I am not. He knows better than me. If that is the case, then I simply need to agree with him. He has allowed this for a reason. Who can better express God's deep love, forgiveness, and grace than one who has experienced a need for it deeply and then received it? This is really a high calling: to be called to need and receive a deep work of God's grace and then to be called to share that grace with others. See the truth. Be the truth. This is who you are.
- Don't give up! Please! There are many in your same situation – many more than you or I could possibly know. Millions of people need hope. Would you receive this hope and share it with others? You are not alone. Many others and I have been where you are. There is always hope. Always. I hope this is helpful to you. All I know for sure is that God will not abandon you and He always makes a way of escape. We simply need to open our eyes and ears to recognize His presence and voice. Keep seeking Him.
FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY OF THOSE WHO STRUGGLE
If you know someone who struggles with same-sex attraction (homosexuality), if you struggle with same-sex attraction, or you simply know someone who is confused over this issue, let me give you some suggestions for ways to educate yourself on the many twists and turns of this very difficult matter. We suggest that you read these resources yourself if you are simply desiring to minister to someone who struggles with same-sex attraction. Do not send these materials to someone who struggles unless you really want to alienate them. Give these materials only if the one you are ministering to asks for them! Love is the key - and we cannot help anyone who does not want our help or anyone who thinks they do not need our help - but we can love. Please educate yourself and then temper that education with the love of God as you minister to those around you. If those you desire to minister to are closed to that ministry, then continue to love and simply pray. There is power in prayer. Never underestimate that power. Following are my suggestions for where to begin.
Sing Over Me This book is for those who want to experience God in an intimate, life-changing way, regardless of whether or not they’ve ever struggled with unwanted same-sex attraction. This is Dennis' story, yet really it’s the story of redemption found in knowing Jesus Christ intimately.
Giant Killers is a book written by Dennis Jernigan and traces his own battles with the giants that war against his identity as a man. Giant Killers offers practical suggestions for getting to the roots of our struggles and how to maintain our victory over our own giants
Victim to Victor is an online E-Book written by Dennis Jernigan. This devotional-style book is designed to help those who have walked in defeat in any area of their lives walk out of that defeat and its subsequent shame and into the true and victorious identity God has called them to.
Transforming the Inner Man by John and Paula Sandford
Choosing Forgiveness by John and Paula Sandford