Posted by: DJ on
Nov 30, 2009
Posted by: DJ on
Nov 26, 2009
Posted by: DJ on
Nov 26, 2009
Posted by: DJ on
Nov 25, 2009
Posted by: DJ on
Nov 24, 2009
Posted by: DJ on
Nov 24, 2009
Posted by: DJ on
Nov 23, 2009
Posted by: DJ on
Nov 23, 2009
CONFESSION
After 30+ years as a Christian, I still feel such powerful attractions for men. I don't act out, but the internal battle with lust is intense sometimes. This is quite a struggle and makes me "feel" that God must get disgusted with me...I should be "over this" by now. I have a wonderful wife and six kids. God has been good to me. My flesh however loves this sin. It is so fruitless and self-defeating. My heart is grieved. I go through seasons of greater liberty, then slip back. I love/hate it. It is such a nasty idol in my life. Forgive the flavor of self-pity in this.
I know we have to be ruthless against temptations. Please stand with me as I confess this.
Posted by: DJ on
Nov 23, 2009
Posted by: DJ on
Nov 23, 2009
CONFESSION
After striving with all I had for about eight months to immerse myself in Christian activities, and community, I started going back on gay sites.
Why does God curse me? What have I done.. I don't really believe my peers suffer a fraction of the misery I go through, feeling that my existence is offensive. I wouldn't have ever admitted that six months ago, I told myself we all suffered the same, and that I didn't identify myself in light of my perceived orientation.
The severity of depression, however, suggests otherwise. I'm a gifted pianist, and I want to study medicine, but I can't bring myself to be excited about anything except what is forbidden.
I have been seeing a Christian counselor who was in the gay lifestyle, and isnow happily married with two children.
I just don't want to hurt, God seems so far.
